My Boyfriend Told me I'm fat and Ugly.

Or he might aswell have done. Im aware that I'm not a skinny girl, I wouldn't even describe myself as slim, and I can only just get away with saying curvy. And The BF isn't exactly the pinicle of masculine fittness, with his beer belly, and he can eat for Britian, so I've never worried about how I looked in front of him - "I love you the way you are!" Aww bless, but apparently that's only my personality. Snide comments about my size when I was offering to help him really struck a cord, and laughing when his brother called me a dog? The last time that I spent with him was really hurtful, but I don't know where that even came from? He just brushed them under the carpet, and made me feel guilty for been hurt.

Whats more hurtful is I've no idea where it's come from, we had a tiff but I thought we'd fixed it and the tiff was me being annoyed he'd dropped our plans at the last minuite, but it was ok. So why make me feel that way?

I'm so confused where he's concerned right now, because I could replace him easily, thats not the issue, and even though this relationship drains me emotionally, drains my energy and time and fails to satisfy me sometimes (only sometimes), The issue is, IF he loves me like he says that he does, or even if he doesn't no more but meant it when he said it, then why would he feel its ok to chip away at what little self essteam that I have?

I know that I could be over reacting, over analsying, and thinking too much about it. It's possible that he just said it without thinking, and didn't dwell on it in the hope I hadn't heard, or if i had, that I hadn't taken it to heart.I told one of the girls, and she flipped, they all would, none would stand for this blatant attack against their self esteem, but I am doing.

Not sure why I'm staying in this part time relationship, sure the sex is good, as is other areas, and when we're good, we're really good together, on the same level and everything, but when we're not, then we're shit. I think I might have a very heavy and sexual flirting session to feel even. Tit for Tat Babe, you chip away my confidence and I'll just build it back.

Still, I wish I knew why he did it. Starting a diet tommorow, his words affected me quiet a bit.